Let me tell you a love story.
Once, I was a sex toy slut. I would go with whatever looked hot and took my fancy. I would save for it, buy it, enjoy it for a time. But almost as soon as it was in my.. uh… hands (cough) I was already saving and planning for the next thing.
The things I bought ranged from rabbits vibes to dildos, from g-spot stimulators to clitoral vibes, from stainless steel or silicone to the Star Trek Next Generation of sex toys with advanced responsive interfaces.
Then, one glorious brunch, an ex said to me these magical words:
‘For your birthday, I thought we could go to a sex shop and you could pick something’.
Poetic, I know. But it was an exciting experience for me. I had a number of things on my wishlist, but I got excited by the idea of going and spontaneously picking something (without having to think about cost at all).
Together we went, and a delightful if eventually slightly exasperated sales assistant pulled toy after toy out of cabinets, charged them, plugged them in, and let me play with them. It was a highlight of my sexual experiences to date.
If I was really honest, though, once I laid hands on the Palm Power… there was no other competition. IT PLUGGED INTO THE WALL.
I could tell you about the other features… but…
IT PLUGS INTO THE WALL.
And thus began my longest relationship (sexual, or romantic). Palm Power outlasted the partner who purchased it, and has seen me through many human relationships and breakups and single times since. Unwavering, always plugged into the outlet beside my bed, waiting for me whenever I need.
Some actual facts about it though, aside from my love for it and that IT PLUGS INTO THE WALL.
Why do i love this toy so much?
IT PLUGS INTO THE WALL, PEOPLE.
No, but seriously.
I am female-identifying and clitoris-possessing. My personal preference is for POWER. And rumbly vibrations, as opposed to buzzy. If this distinction is hard to imagine: have you ever been go-carting? I went a few months ago with a group of chadults (adult-sized children), and when we got off the track I said
“Did anyone else feel a bit turned on from the vibrations?”
9/10 looked at me like I had grown an alien head. The other one secretly agreed with me in the form of going red and running away.
The motor vibrations were deep and rumbly and very powerful and make me feel happy just thinking about them.
The Palm Power is rumbly, and the power is increased just by using the on/off button so it’s easy to use even when I’m very drunk or tired or in a distracting partner-sex situation.
My other preference is for smaller areas of stimulation. With toys like this, the default head is a large ball shape, which gives a kind of “my whole vulva is trembling” sensation and when I turn the power up I can feel the vibration in my butt. Which is not necessarily a bad thing.
But I dislike feeling vibration on my labia majora (the outside bits) - i find it distracting rather than pleasurable. The lucky thing is, the Palm Power has two different sets of heads - a ‘sexy’ set, with a g-spot head and a sort of rabbit-style head - and what they have called a massager set that is supposed to be for your fingers and forearms. Having tried both, I actually love the antenna-looking one from the massager set - it’s got a little ball on the end for when i want to just press right in to my clit, and that longer part that fits perfectly inside my labia and vibrates in there while the head of the Palm Power sits on my clit. I love that I can choose the heads depending on what I kind of sensation I feel like, but I know that it’s a vibration that will get me there perfectly every time.
I also find that every time I think I’ve turned it up as high as it can go… it can go a little higher. Not for the faint of heart!
I’ll never stop buying new toys because my curious soul needs to know what every sensation feels like, needs to experience every kind of orgasm, and most of all, I really love my g-spot and that is probably the place where this toy is really lacking - the g-spot head attachment doesn’t actually transmit any vibrations inside the body. But I’ll never break up with the Palm Power. It has earned a permanent spot on my extension board.
Possibly the only real downfall with this toy is that which many iPhone owners have experienced - charging cord deterioration. Luckily, the electrical tape that I drunkenly wrapped around the head of the charger upon first signs of wear has held surprisingly well and my panicked research which showed that I can easily purchase a replacement charger was unnecessary.
It’s possible, though, that if you are unlike me and aren’t prone to jamming the cord under the doona so it’s bent at a weird angle, you may not have this problem.
What can I say? My lover and I like to get cosy.